How to Get Back Into the Dating Scene

If you've been through an emotionally draining break up or a nasty divorce, it can be especially difficult to think about dating again. However, sometimes it is just better to hold your breath and take a plunge into the singles scene. You have to remember that there are a lot of single people out there who are worth taking a chance on.

So how do you prepare yourself to start looking for, and dating singles? First, take an honest look at yourself. Sometimes, break ups can leave you feeling weak and under confident. If there's anything that you don't like about yourself and feel that this quality holds you back, do something about it. Have you put on weight? Join a gym. Throw out all that junk food and plan a healthy menu for yourself. Invest time and money in making you feel better. Change your wardrobe; go buy those expensive accessories that you always wanted to. The minute you feel better about yourself, you'll actually attract more people. If you think you look good, you do. Stop spending time with negative people, especially those who think it's better to be single than be in a relationship. If you're looking for a change in your life, these people have got to go.  

Finally, ask the people around you, your friends and family, to introduce you to some single people. Keep an open mind, don't judge, and be willing to go on blind dates. You can also consider online dating, where you will be able to check out profiles, photos and decide who interests you, before contacting them. And above everything, remember to enjoy yourself. Date as many single people as possible. Don't always judge someone as a partner, but just go out there with the intention of enjoying your date. 

Dating Expectations

A single seeking Mr. or Ms. Right always has an ideal in mind – part practical, part fantasy. Nothing wrong in it at all – it will actually help you realize what you desire in a relationship. But when are your expectations unreasonable?

Your outlook may be unrealistic if certain things about a prospective partner are not negotiable, for instance - looks, height and weight, similar interests, income – or if you expect your match to trust you enough to open up instantly or if you reject a date who resides further than a given distance from you.

On the other hand, your expectations may be reasonable if you expect:
·         Your date to think you are admirable, amusing, and exciting.
·         An emotional, mental or physical spark between you.
·         You expect the other person to have similar basic but not identical worldviews.
·         Your potential partner to have similar long-term relationship objectives.

Write down what you expect from a partner with regard to attributes, talents, emotional strengths.  Don’t limit yourself to these. Think about the positives in your earlier relationships.  Go through each item on your list and put the letter ‘A’ in front of each that you think is absolutely crucial to you, and a ‘B’ in front of those that are desirable but not essential.

Now rewrite the ‘A’ list on a fresh sheet in the order of importance. Review the top five essentials on your list - these are those you ought to never concede on.

This will help especially if you, as a single, meet somebody you are very attracted to, but he or she does not possess all the five must-have characteristics you want. It means you must move on.

Lastly, recognize that these expectations will change over time. Review your list intermittently especially after each breakup or if you think your needs have evolved.

Changing Attitudes towards Single Hood

Marriage had always been an expectation in the society. While attending social events or functions, family gatherings, dinners etc, it was expected that you should be accompanied by your husband or prospective husband. When it becomes known that you were single, there are subtle condolences by relatives and friends. This might also be followed by match-making i.e. introduction to whom they think is perfect for you.

However, attitudes about singles are changing. Respect for singles is increasing as the society is accepting the fact that most single people have higher priorities in their life. People have priorities such as higher education, career, business development etc and they do not have time and mental capacity to enter a committed relationship.

Times have changed and searching partners for their children is not a burden for the parents anymore. Women do not essentially need to be married for physical survival. They do not have to marry for economic reasons like in earlier times when salaries were so unequal and also lesser opportunities were available for women to work.

Single hood has become a choice and also preference over couple hood for most people. Given the tremendous amount of exposure through internet, social networking websites and work atmospheres, most single people have ample opportunities to mingle. The attitude of singles is also changing. It is self confidence rather than self doubt, which dominates the nature of single people in present times. Such persons will never give into the pressure of parents, relatives, friends, employers etc. They will only marry or enter a relationship when they want to and not when the society wants them to. They do not blame things on one or their imperfections. On the other hand the attributions are such as they have not met the right person.