fredag den 29. juli 2011

Dating Expectations

A single seeking Mr. or Ms. Right always has an ideal in mind – part practical, part fantasy. Nothing wrong in it at all – it will actually help you realize what you desire in a relationship. But when are your expectations unreasonable?

Your outlook may be unrealistic if certain things about a prospective partner are not negotiable, for instance - looks, height and weight, similar interests, income – or if you expect your match to trust you enough to open up instantly or if you reject a date who resides further than a given distance from you.

On the other hand, your expectations may be reasonable if you expect:
·         Your date to think you are admirable, amusing, and exciting.
·         An emotional, mental or physical spark between you.
·         You expect the other person to have similar basic but not identical worldviews.
·         Your potential partner to have similar long-term relationship objectives.

Write down what you expect from a partner with regard to attributes, talents, emotional strengths.  Don’t limit yourself to these. Think about the positives in your earlier relationships.  Go through each item on your list and put the letter ‘A’ in front of each that you think is absolutely crucial to you, and a ‘B’ in front of those that are desirable but not essential.

Now rewrite the ‘A’ list on a fresh sheet in the order of importance. Review the top five essentials on your list - these are those you ought to never concede on.

This will help especially if you, as a single, meet somebody you are very attracted to, but he or she does not possess all the five must-have characteristics you want. It means you must move on.

Lastly, recognize that these expectations will change over time. Review your list intermittently especially after each breakup or if you think your needs have evolved.

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