Science of Dating

Dating is not just about being friendly with another person of the opposite or the same sex. It is not just about socialising with people, watching movies or having dinners together. It has a science behind it and understanding of the psychology of dating is essential to find an apt and suitable match through dating. Understanding the psychology of dating helps in time saving and money saving as you would not have to waste resources on blind dates or unsuccessful relationships. Serious dating can result in finding ideal match for you.

Dating through internet has been gaining great importance; therefore it becomes necessary to understand the psychology of the person on the other side of the chat window. It is important to understand that you cannot force anyone into chatting. Therefore if you do not get ample hints from the other side, then understand that he/she is not interested any further. However, if you are really interested in some person and due to some reason chatting has stopped, it is not wrong to re-initiate chatting in such cases. You should only ask for first meeting after a comfortable rapport has been built been the two of you.

After the first meet is fixed, the psychology of other person can be understood through eye contact. Try to be very observant of your date in the first meet. Eyes speak a lot about the person. If the person seems happy and smiles then he/she is willing to carry the dating further. Also body language becomes very important when dating is done. More than 60% of dating in most cases is non-verbal. Therefore, right gestures and right bodily movements make known if the other person in interested or not. Nervousness is clearly visible in the body gestures. Make sure you try to make your dating match comfortable, if he/she seems nervous.

Benefits of Video Chat in Online Dating

There are many ways to date online- you could chat, send emails or talk on the phone. And then there is video chatting. It combines the joy of talking face to face in real time with the convenience of staying home. This is an inexpensive way to chat and is getting more popular. Video conferencing initially started out as a business arrangement in situations where traveling was not a practical option. It then caught up with most people and is now very commonly used.

All you really need is a pair of headphones, a good quality webcam and a great broadband connection. Many chat rooms also offer free video chatting which makes it very economical. It also helps you and your date get the real picture of each other. Just like any date, a video chat date also takes some amount of preparation to let the other person know that you care about this date.

You should also consider buying a high end webcam, which are not as expensive as they sound. Most laptops and computers have a viewfinder where you can see what you are recording. This will help you set up an attractive picture for your date to see and be impressed by. Set up your computer or laptop in a well lit area and make sure your face does not have any unnecessary shadows.

Your date should get an attractive yet accurate picture of how you look after yourself and your home. Remember to dress as well as you can without appearing desperate. No date wants to see a man or a woman with disheveled hair with dark circles wearing old clothes or overdressed even for an opera. Your behavior is the second thing your date will notice. Don’t act silly and immature but choose to be funny and honest and impress your date with the magic of video chatting.

How to Get Back Into the Dating Scene

If you've been through an emotionally draining break up or a nasty divorce, it can be especially difficult to think about dating again. However, sometimes it is just better to hold your breath and take a plunge into the singles scene. You have to remember that there are a lot of single people out there who are worth taking a chance on.

So how do you prepare yourself to start looking for, and dating singles? First, take an honest look at yourself. Sometimes, break ups can leave you feeling weak and under confident. If there's anything that you don't like about yourself and feel that this quality holds you back, do something about it. Have you put on weight? Join a gym. Throw out all that junk food and plan a healthy menu for yourself. Invest time and money in making you feel better. Change your wardrobe; go buy those expensive accessories that you always wanted to. The minute you feel better about yourself, you'll actually attract more people. If you think you look good, you do. Stop spending time with negative people, especially those who think it's better to be single than be in a relationship. If you're looking for a change in your life, these people have got to go.  

Finally, ask the people around you, your friends and family, to introduce you to some single people. Keep an open mind, don't judge, and be willing to go on blind dates. You can also consider online dating, where you will be able to check out profiles, photos and decide who interests you, before contacting them. And above everything, remember to enjoy yourself. Date as many single people as possible. Don't always judge someone as a partner, but just go out there with the intention of enjoying your date. 

Date successfully using attitude

Do you sometimes see women who do not have classic good looks but are extremely successful on the dating scene?  The secret to their success is often their attitude – a positive, upbeat, confident one that focuses on the now. Here are some tips to catch the same attitude:

·         Smile – It’s the only way you can show your date that you are a happy person. A positive attitude attracts others like nothing else can, and triggers positive feelings of elation in them. Studies have shown that smiling actually improves your own mood and makes you look more alluring.

·         Ooze self assurance – Confidence in yourself acts to highlight all your strengths.  Developing self assurance is quite simple actually. Focus on the big picture and don’t let yourself be affected by small annoying details.  For instance, you may have been promoted but several colleagues and friends have not called to congratulate you – don’t let others’ approval or disapproval erode your confidence. Establishing a steady self image that is not dependent on others goes a long way in brushing off a negative attitude.

·         Take steps to establish control of your future – Think hard about what you really want.  Set goals and make decisions that will get you there. Take charge. That breeds an unbeatable, amazingly appealing attitude. The fact that you are already satisfied will give your prospective date the sense that he or she is not the only thing your happiness will hinge on and takes the pressure off both of you.

·         Concentrate on the present moment – its fine to have goals, but translating them into reality means focusing on the now. On a date that translates into enjoying the experience and not obsessing on personal relationship goals like marriage and kids, especially on date #1. That will give your potential partner the impression you are only looking for husband material, have a deadline for it, and are not truly interested in him as a person.  Instead focus on activities that bring meaning and passion into your life.

Few Advantages of Dating a Married Person

Dating a married person is very cost effective since especially for men who are dating a married woman. They do not have to bestow expensive gifts on their date ever. Married women will not like to accept gifts and other material possessions from the people they date since their husbands will become suspicious of their wrong activities. Also they would not like to go to expensive restaurants on a date since the fear of being spotted by their husband or relatives continues to linger.

Also dating a married person adds additional spice in your life since the game of hide and s eek adds a fascinating experience in your life. Before organizing a date a full proof plan needs to be devised and careful planning is required. New places and codes have to be thought every time before planning a date. Additional excitement is added when the couple is spotted by family members or friends.  This is followed by cooking up of stories which makes the entire experience more exhilarating, even though very risky.

Then comes the added advantage of sex with multiple partners. Most people indulging in extra marital affairs might not be looking for serious commitments. Their main purpose could be satisfaction of carnal needs or simply breaking the monotony in their current lives. Thus, emotional issues are least likely to erupt in such relationships as people might not be looking for a deeper relationship.

 
Even though such advantages exist, but it is not morally and ethically correct to indulge in extra marital affairs. It would adversely impact the married person’s family especially kids. It might seem flowery in the short run; however, long run adverse implications might be many. Thus it is not completely justified, even if it has certain above mentioned advantages.

Dating Expectations

A single seeking Mr. or Ms. Right always has an ideal in mind – part practical, part fantasy. Nothing wrong in it at all – it will actually help you realize what you desire in a relationship. But when are your expectations unreasonable?

Your outlook may be unrealistic if certain things about a prospective partner are not negotiable, for instance - looks, height and weight, similar interests, income – or if you expect your match to trust you enough to open up instantly or if you reject a date who resides further than a given distance from you.

On the other hand, your expectations may be reasonable if you expect:
·         Your date to think you are admirable, amusing, and exciting.
·         An emotional, mental or physical spark between you.
·         You expect the other person to have similar basic but not identical worldviews.
·         Your potential partner to have similar long-term relationship objectives.

Write down what you expect from a partner with regard to attributes, talents, emotional strengths.  Don’t limit yourself to these. Think about the positives in your earlier relationships.  Go through each item on your list and put the letter ‘A’ in front of each that you think is absolutely crucial to you, and a ‘B’ in front of those that are desirable but not essential.

Now rewrite the ‘A’ list on a fresh sheet in the order of importance. Review the top five essentials on your list - these are those you ought to never concede on.

This will help especially if you, as a single, meet somebody you are very attracted to, but he or she does not possess all the five must-have characteristics you want. It means you must move on.

Lastly, recognize that these expectations will change over time. Review your list intermittently especially after each breakup or if you think your needs have evolved.

Online dating websites

Online dating is becoming prevalent in the internet age of today. Internet has made to find a date yourself by knowing people through chatting. Online or internet dating websites provide access to browse through various profiles, make new contacts and communicate with other individuals and groups. The main advantage of online dating over physical dating is that the first meeting can happen only after knowing the other person better. Also backgrounds and preferences can be matched before fixing the first meeting. This way no one needs to go through the feeling of discomfort on the first meeting. Many serious relationships have been formed by matchmaking through internet. This modern method of dating through internet has introduced many people and enable them strengthen their relationship by using features such as chatting, service messaging system etc.

Most websites are free and do not have subscription charges. They have certain kinds of compatibility software installed which checks the compatibility of the participants on the basis of parameters such as backgrounds, hobbies, tolerances and preferences. Usually if the matching rate is 60-70% or more, it is shown as a compatible match. Online dating had many disadvantages attached as well. A person may give absolutely wrong information about himself/herself on the website. In most cases, the photographs uploaded are someone else’s. Matchmaking websites are also being used as internet dating websites these days by many people. Many non serious members are registering due to free subscriptions. This way, many serious participants suffer as they have to go through all such profiles.

People should learn certain online dating etiquettes before logging on to such websites. They should not be sexually implicit or use dirty humour. E-flirting messages and chats should be friendly, funny and light. Try not to hurt the feelings of the other person as chats can be interpreted in several ways.

Online Dating Tips for Men

Men have a lot of trouble to go through to ask out a girl, and then getting rejected is quite a blow. So usually men turn to online dating services. When it comes to the entire scenario of online dates, one has to admit that it is a bit hard to get that elusive right match. Usually you have to go through a lot of troubles to get that perfect date. But, if you keep in mind a few things, then getting that perfect date might just get a bit simpler.

The first step can is the most important one. There are a lot of people looking for online dates, but there are also many of them who are scammers. The best way to avoid scammers is to choose a dating site which screens its members, and does a background check.

When it comes to women, men are controlled by there eyes. A pretty picture is sure to make you take notice and lower your defenses. You should take a closer look at those images to see whether they are fake or have been tampered with. On the other hand, when it comes to your own images, try and give a head shot, bare body images don't work that well, as women are more interested in the facial features

Caution is one thing that has to be exercised while online dating. Never be too hasty in giving out employer or financial information. Being asked about monetary issues is always a sign of something fishy. If you are unable to reach her on phone and mostly end up being redirected to voice mail, then that should be a warning sign.

If you keep in mind a few things, then online dating can be very beneficial for you. Keep your guards up and use a few tried and tested methods. You will find your perfect girl in no time.

The Dating Game: Know When to Cut Your Losses

Many times in the initial phase of a dating relationship, people figure that if their new match is not really into them, they would be truthful about it and say so.  The fact is that everybody, especially men, find it tough to tell their date upfront that they are no longer interested and take the indirect route, hoping the message is loud and clear.  The first sign is they no longer call.

The trouble is, when that happens we tend to make excuses for them, when in fact, you should be cutting your losses and start looking for another potential partner.

Don’t justify their actions and ignore bad behavior

Deep down inside, most people recognize a lack of interest. The real problem is not wanting to acknowledge it and subsequently justifying your partner’s actions.  Common excuses are: Maybe he can’t call because his mobile phone was lost, or he’s had an accident or he’s caught up with a busy project at work… the list can be endless and increasingly lame. Don’t deceive yourself when your partner dictates terms such as being able to see you or even call you only on specific days of the week. Women especially tend to practice self-deception – emphasizing their partners positive qualities and burying the negative ones – out of fear of not being able to find a better match and being single again.

Don’t believe passion is equivalent to love

Women have a tendency to believe that passionate physical encounters are a way of winning a match over and that close emotional bonding will result. This is not always the case, so you do have to watch out for red-flags such as your encounters being few and far between and mostly just physical.

It can be tough to face facts, but don’t settle for a match less than the real thing – you deserve it – just believe in yourself and you will eventually find your ideal match.

Shy People and Dating

You may want to date but are often shying away from great dating chances. Your fear of speaking with new people may be larger than your interest in them. Here is how you can try and overcome your shyness in dating.

Commence with online dating. Meeting your date through emails and phones will minimise your difficulty. However, be sure to stop emailing and step up to seeing each other face to face; even video chats are a good option. Remember, in a date, you only have to meet one person and chances are that the date is also shy like you.

Make a written list of what you can ask your date. – What hobbies do you pursue? How do you like your job? Where did you study? What do you want to do in future?

Look up the news channels on TV. Read newspapers and magazines to keep abreast with current affairs. This will ensure you have a large range of topics to touch upon and converse about.

Choose to go to the movies, games or museum and even a guided historical site visit. This ensures that the date remains interesting while you do not have the burden of speaking all the time. Ask more questions so you listen more and feel comfortable.

Sign off with a nice coffee and ice-cream. Usually ice-creams and coffees are great conversation topics themselves. A shy person is often mistaken to be snooty. Be courteous to avoid being thought of that way. Draw out the chair for the lady, offer to pay when the gentleman pays and be eager to help. Go right ahead and confess that you are shy. This makes room for an informal date with expectations set clearly.

Work on your shyness and overcome it. Surround yourself with friends and well-wishers that know your good traits and talents. Enrol in a hobby class or even learn to play an instrument. In fact you and your date can even sign up for Salsa classes. That involves closeness and boldness together in a single go.

Changing Attitudes towards Single Hood

Marriage had always been an expectation in the society. While attending social events or functions, family gatherings, dinners etc, it was expected that you should be accompanied by your husband or prospective husband. When it becomes known that you were single, there are subtle condolences by relatives and friends. This might also be followed by match-making i.e. introduction to whom they think is perfect for you.

However, attitudes about singles are changing. Respect for singles is increasing as the society is accepting the fact that most single people have higher priorities in their life. People have priorities such as higher education, career, business development etc and they do not have time and mental capacity to enter a committed relationship.

Times have changed and searching partners for their children is not a burden for the parents anymore. Women do not essentially need to be married for physical survival. They do not have to marry for economic reasons like in earlier times when salaries were so unequal and also lesser opportunities were available for women to work.

Single hood has become a choice and also preference over couple hood for most people. Given the tremendous amount of exposure through internet, social networking websites and work atmospheres, most single people have ample opportunities to mingle. The attitude of singles is also changing. It is self confidence rather than self doubt, which dominates the nature of single people in present times. Such persons will never give into the pressure of parents, relatives, friends, employers etc. They will only marry or enter a relationship when they want to and not when the society wants them to. They do not blame things on one or their imperfections. On the other hand the attributions are such as they have not met the right person.

What to Do on a First Date

Dating, for single women, can be a bit harrowing. This is especially true for first dates for a single person. If you’re nervous about going out with a new person, the points below will help.

Decide to meet in a public place. It is best to meet for a coffee, drinks or a lunch first, rather than planning a whole movie and dinner thing. That way, if you feel that it isn’t going anywhere, you can cut it short with a polite thank you, rather than drawing the date out the whole evening. Plus, if you go for a movie, you’ll spend the majority of you time looking at the screen instead of getting to know each other. Dress well, but don’t show a lot of skin – it’s possible that you’ll send out the wrong kind of signals. If you decide to meet for drinks, stick to your limit.

Don’t get drunk – for obvious reasons. Listen to his conversation and find out whether your likes and interests match. However, don’t try to make them match. Be honest about who you are, you do not have to pretend to be something you’re not. If you do, it will come back to haunt you later. It is a first date, so don’t extend it for too long. When the check comes, offer to pay, or at least insist on splitting the tab. A lot of single men out there will appreciate it and it has the added bonus of not making you feel indebted. Even if you had a great time, do not make plans to meet again that very day. Go home and sleep over it before accepting a second date.

Finally, if you met this single person through a mutual friend, it’s pretty sure they’ll ask how it went. Be neutral. Don’t gush, and, even if it was a disaster, do not crib about it. You can be sure it’ll get back to your date. 

Dating for Single Parents

Single parents are often busy with mundane tasks of attending to the kid(s), financial commitments, and job responsibilities. Amid these essential routines, a single parent needs the vital support of a companion as well. When you are a parent, many of your life’s decisions become kid centric. However, finding a spouse or mate to cruise through your life is a more self-centered process. Here is what you may keep in mind about dating for single parents.

Single parents can find compatibility in other single parents or single men/ women with a liking for parenting. Your kids are pivotal to your decisions.

Tell your date about the child/ children. If possible have them meet at an appropriate time when your relationship progresses.

Be clear about financial constraints. An expensive dinner date may not be a regular possibility. Allow your date to know what is truly possible so expectations are managed correctly.

Display your strength as an independent parent. You want to date for yourself and not because you want to hire the missing father/ mother.

Always prepare your child for your date evenings – tell him/ her that you will be late and arrange for a caregiver in your absence. This will ensure that you have your mind and heart at ease and your date can hence be successful.

Be light hearted and humorous. You can be a single parent with a demanding child and job. But you can be happy and witty too.

Always be time conscious. Do not delay. Making your date wait is not cool and it is even worse to be late home to a waiting kid after a date. So make sure you execute your plans carefully and be punctual and nice to your date. This is the best way to make sure that your date develops into a long relationship.

How to Use Online Dating

Online dating and internet dating can be used as a serious way to find one’s soul mates. Serious dating is a step ahead of casual dating. Deciding to marry a person and live with him/her for the rest of your life is not a small decision. Dating a person before is necessary to test the compatibility levels so that the likelihood of the failure of a marriage is reduced. This dating should be a very crucial part of marriage. It is important that your life partner has those qualities which you are looking for. As far as men are concerned, they get easily carried away by the girl’s beauty and charm. However, they should not take haste decisions and spend time dating before boiling down to a final decision.

Like people visit match makers before arranged marriages with a list of preferences about their spouses. On similar lines, online websites are like matchmakers with various profiles, providing many options to choose your soul mate. Family is very important factor which unites people in marriages. Online dating websites ask for family details so that it's easier for people to match family attributes before they start dating.

Even if you are using online dating websites for establishing serious relationships, do not become a serial dater. Everyone goes through ups and downs in life. Do not let the bad times overpower you and make you addicted to dating. The best part of any dating is the mystery and thrill attached to it. If physical relationship is built very early, emotions might not get a chance to catch up and thus the relationship might be based on a weak foundation. Such relationships are likely to end soon. Therefore always establish an emotional bond with the person and then look forward to enter a new phase of life with that person.

Factors to Consider when Using an Online Dating Service

With online dating becoming more and more popular, it is hardly surprising that the internet is flooded with several sites offering such services today. However, not all sites offering such services are good, safe or reliable. Given that most sites require you to share important personal information, it is always advisable to ensure the reliability of the site before patronizing it. Following are some important factors that will help you decide on whether the site is reliable or not.

Privacy policy adopted by the website is extremely important and should be considered before you choose to date on any site. It is important to note that free does not mean that there is no privacy policy adopted by the website. In other words, irrespective of whether or not you pay for using the services of a site, you are entitled to your privacy, which means not having to share your information with third parties.

Secondly, options or services offered by the dating website plays an important role in choosing the one that suits your needs. Given that you are looking for building relationships with others and often searching for your soul mate, knowing everything about the other individual is important. Hence sites that allow you to view the detailed profiles of individuals, especially with regard to characteristics, likes and preferences, should be given preference.

Filtering is extremely important in such websites and it is always advisable to choose a site that allows you to filter those you want to interact and those you want to ignore. In other words, it should be easy to block any interactions from those you want to avoid.

Finally, in certain cases, some people use online dating sites for the purposes of general interaction. Under the circumstances, it is important that your chosen site has a good chat facility that helps you interact with maximum people from the website before indulging in any private conversations with someone particular.